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New York, New York, United States
Mostly visual art and air guitar.

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Sunday, July 28, 2013

E Airness Unum: The 2013 USAG Northeast Semifinals

    On Tuesday, July 2nd, air guitarists from Kansas City, Boston, Philadelphia and New York gathered at the Bowery Ballroom to exhibit their skills at playing an invisible instrument. Arbitrated by Hot Lixx Hulahan (2008 Air Guitar World Champion), Awesome (former San Francisco regional champion) and Aidy Bryant (cast member of Saturday Night Live), each participant received scores from 4.0 up to 6.0 according to the criteria of "technical merit" (musical accuracy), "stage presence" (exploitation of the dais) and "airness" (qualities that elevate pantomime to art). The evening's emcee was Bjorn Turoque ("Air Guitar Nation" and "To Air is Human") and graciously sponsored by Martens Pilsner and St. Feuillen Saison thanks to the connections of Ricky Stinkfingers (US Air Guitar Hall of Fame inductee).


    In deciding the performance order of Round One, past regional championship winners were granted their own choices in the lineup whereas prior Dark Horse Invitational victors, qualifying event hosts, qualifier champs and wildcards then drew the remaining numbers at random. After Marlboro Man (of Yankee Stadium jumbotron fame) and Shreddy Mercury (erstwhile Brooklyn champ) volunteered for the opening spots, a cast of five finalists for Round Two were eventually selected from the field of nearly twenty entrants. Wildcards included PWN Jett (NYC), The Ghost of Operation Rockapussy (Boston), Spudboy (NYC) and Lady Air-a-Bella of the Brooklyn Bellas (NYC); qualifying event hopefuls comprised of Captain Airhab (Boston host), MathRomancer (NYC-Brooklyn host), Rocka Khan (NYC-Manhattan host), David C. Roth (NYC), Air Jesus (KC), Thunderball (KC), G. Tso Money (NYC), Smiley Rod (NYC) and Mitt Umlaut (NYC).

    The halftime entertainment featured two-time National Champion William Ocean, Airistotle (currently ranked #2 in the world), Stinkfingers, Shreddy, Justice Rocktor and The Thunder.

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    The videos below are the compulsory round acts with judges' comments, where Rockupine (Boston qualifier gold medalist) finished third but evidence of his efforts were unfortunately lost due to corruption and mismanagement.

    Jean-Luc Pickguard (Boston qualifier runner-up) showed at fifth:
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    Danny Tanner Tantrum (2012 Boston regional champ) took fourth:
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    Windhammer (2012 Philadelphia titleholder) came second:
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    Mean Melin (USAG Hall of Fame and the organization's Social Media Manager in Kansas City) claimed the top spot:
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    Stay tuned for more light to be shed on the 2013 USAG Mid-Atlantic Semifinals held on July 19th at the 9:30 Club~

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