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New York, New York, United States
Mostly visual art and air guitar.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2012

E Airness Unum: Radio City Music Holocaust

    Buoyed by a brief taste of on-stage rapture at the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C. several days ago, G. Tso Money returned to the Empire State for a no-holds-barred throwdown with US Air Guitar heavyweights Windhammer (Rob W.), Airistotle (Matt B.), Ricky Stinkfingers (Alex F.), Shreddy Mercury (Seth L.), Dean Razorback (Tom S.), Lady Air-a-Bella of the Brooklyn Bellas (Sara A.C.) along with Mitt Umlaut (Tom C.), MathRomancer (Paul M.), DagNasty-O (John D.) and Mystery Meat (Brady M.).

    For two consecutive nights in June of 2011, Gotham saw fit to host a multitude of rare talents in search of worthy contenders to the mantle of the USAG National Champion; Airistotle claimed a resounding and well-earned victory at the Bowery Ballroom in Manhattan on the 15th, and the field was once again wide open for the remaining hopefuls the following evening in Brooklyn. Due to the temporary hiatus of former US champion William Ocean (Andrew J.L.) and the unfortunate return of celebrity judge Jason Jones from Comedy Central's The Daily Show, unpredictable results were guaranteed at the Brooklyn Bowl.

    Combined with a solid showing in Round One and consistently low scores from the aforementioned Mr. Jones (one of his comments was "too Asian" of a performance by G. Tso Money), striking distance was maintained while ranked behind Mitt Umlaut and Shreddy Mercury. Round Two's song of choice was "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister (Tyrannosaurus Rocks/Masturbating Booger's first round track in D.C. the year earlier) and thus the video below bore evidence of how the audience responded to G. Tso Money.

    After the song ended, Jones was first to exclaim in disbelief at the sight he had just witnessed and upped his prior score of 5.5 to a solid 5.9 which the other judges mirrored with their own near-perfect marks. Sadly, it was was not enough to overcome a fearlessly stunning act by Mitt (who ran onto the bowling lanes and shredded mightily to everyone's delight) and Shreddy's impressive point lead. The Brooklyn crown and automatic berth in Chicago's National Finals ultimately went to Seth, who represented admirably amongst other Regional champs this past July.

    The 2011 season for G. Tso Money would officially draw to a close on the 18th in Philadelphia, but this whole experience was infinitely valuable in becoming more familiar with the ever-elusive quality known as "airness" that so many others had demonstrated on stage. In fact, one of the most enduring memories was gaining the respect of fellow air guitar practitioners in finally being recognized as an equal by generous pillars of the community. This mutual love for music and the exhilaration of rocking out underneath the spotlights had brought us all closer together and further cemented our bonds as family - the 2012 US Air Guitar season will be yet another enjoyable reunion and opportunity to share the individual journeys that all have participated in on the quest for world peace through air guitar.

    "No Strings to Rule them All. No Strings to Excite Them. No Strings to Bring Them All and in the Airness Unite Them."
- The Thrash Prince of Hell Air, G. Tso Money

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