E Airness Unum: Free Money

In appreciation of all the supporters throughout these years, G. Tso Money is giving away T-shirts! Each black or gray shirt is hand-stenciled and features the logo (see this blog's background graphic) on the front. To have one of your own, send a message with your name, shipping address and shirt size (Small through XL currently available).

While supplies last, Money back guarantee. (click to enlarge)

Thanks again to everybody and keep those horns up!


Peace, love, air guitar~

G. Tso Money

E Airness Unum: Radio City Music Holocaust

    Buoyed by a brief taste of on-stage rapture at the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C. several days ago, G. Tso Money returned to the Empire State for a no-holds-barred throwdown with US Air Guitar heavyweights Windhammer (Rob W.), Airistotle (Matt B.), Ricky Stinkfingers (Alex F.), Shreddy Mercury (Seth L.), Dean Razorback (Tom S.), Lady Air-a-Bella of the Brooklyn Bellas (Sara A.C.) along with Mitt Umlaut (Tom C.), MathRomancer (Paul M.), DagNasty-O (John D.) and Mystery Meat (Brady M.).

    For two consecutive nights in June of 2011, Gotham saw fit to host a multitude of rare talents in search of worthy contenders to the mantle of the USAG National Champion; Airistotle claimed a resounding and well-earned victory at the Bowery Ballroom in Manhattan on the 15th, and the field was once again wide open for the remaining hopefuls the following evening in Brooklyn. Due to the temporary hiatus of former US champion William Ocean (Andrew J.L.) and the unfortunate return of celebrity judge Jason Jones from Comedy Central's The Daily Show, unpredictable results were guaranteed at the Brooklyn Bowl.

    Combined with a solid showing in Round One and consistently low scores from the aforementioned Mr. Jones (one of his comments was "too Asian" of a performance by G. Tso Money), striking distance was maintained while ranked behind Mitt Umlaut and Shreddy Mercury. Round Two's song of choice was "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister (Tyrannosaurus Rocks/Masturbating Booger's first round track in D.C. the year earlier) and thus the video below bore evidence of how the audience responded to G. Tso Money.

    After the song ended, Jones was first to exclaim in disbelief at the sight he had just witnessed and upped his prior score of 5.5 to a solid 5.9 which the other judges mirrored with their own near-perfect marks. Sadly, it was was not enough to overcome a fearlessly stunning act by Mitt (who ran onto the bowling lanes and shredded mightily to everyone's delight) and Shreddy's impressive point lead. The Brooklyn crown and automatic berth in Chicago's National Finals ultimately went to Seth, who represented admirably amongst other Regional champs this past July.

    The 2011 season for G. Tso Money would officially draw to a close on the 18th in Philadelphia, but this whole experience was infinitely valuable in becoming more familiar with the ever-elusive quality known as "airness" that so many others had demonstrated on stage. In fact, one of the most enduring memories was gaining the respect of fellow air guitar practitioners in finally being recognized as an equal by generous pillars of the community. This mutual love for music and the exhilaration of rocking out underneath the spotlights had brought us all closer together and further cemented our bonds as family - the 2012 US Air Guitar season will be yet another enjoyable reunion and opportunity to share the individual journeys that all have participated in on the quest for world peace through air guitar.

    "No Strings to Rule them All. No Strings to Excite Them. No Strings to Bring Them All and in the Airness Unite Them."
- The Thrash Prince of Hell Air, G. Tso Money

E Airness Unum: A Bridge Too Far East

    Spent two weeks in Taiwan with a brief side trip to Japan and came back with this...

    There wasn't nearly enough time to enjoy everything there, so another visit will definitely be in the cards.

Sprout of My Mind

    In a previous post I had mentioned wanting to see "Cloud Gate" (aka "the Bean") in Chicago during the 2011 US Air Guitar Nationals week - this being my first extended visit to Illinois, much revelry was to be had with many friends over the next few days and thus Millennium Park was a truly rewarding source of inspiration from and admiration for the Windy City.

    Navigation of the Chicago Transit Authority train system proved convenient due to a familiarity with the complexities of New York City, and the Orange line from Midway Airport delivered me straight to Madison-Wabash Station which was a mere block from my destination.  Despite a sluggish July heat pervading the Midwest, I eagerly followed the shadows at a decent stride with luggage in tow towards the lake.  Emerging from the concrete canyon of West Madison Street into its intersection with North Michigan Avenue afforded a brief glint of the mid-afternoon sun sparkling off the metal monstrosity created by Indian-born British artist Anish Kapoor.  Though Jaume Plensa's monolithic "Crown Fountain" video sculpture flirted with my attention at the park entrance, the increasing allure of justifying this trip to AT&T Plaza as well as the siren call of over-priced hot dogs drew me upstairs instead.  Peering through the stone railings on the south side of the plaza while ascending the stone steps, faint wisps of excited chatter floated past me until "the Bean" finally hove into full view.  After settling down on the east side of the square at a sparsely-shaded table, I rolled a cigarette and took these notes.

    7/20/11    3:30 pm

The size is impressive - a full height taller than most visitors standing within the concave underside.  Surrounding skyscrapers arch gleefully towards the apex (standing 33 feet above ground).  Multiple perspectives are visible from even a single viewing location.  The polished and curved metal surface seamlessly reflects every object in a complete panorama.  Despite its manufactured existence, the very identity and nature of the sculpture is organic.  A blend of artificial and natural environments is accurately echoed by this high-concept, grand-scaled and truly unique work of art.  The simplistic appearance is enjoyable for people from all walks and any stage of life, though a lasting appreciation is attainable by attempting to answer the many questions it raises of our own beings.  Much like the seed of a fruit-bearing plant, this represents the potential of many new discoveries for humankind.

    To further cement its distinctive impression, I walked around the 66-feet-long structure in a spiral circuit until reaching the comfortably shaded arch where many others had already taken refuge from the heat.  In addition to the whimsically distorted images of others present,  particular interest was paid to the multitude of hand prints and smudges left behind on the steel.  Unlike the myriad of graffiti and stickers that pervade NYC structures, these marks were clearly meant to convey ephemeral messages by each individual who also came to enjoy what has become a world-class landmark in Chicago.

    After this immersion in contemporary visual culture, I felt an invigorated sense of purpose in my own artistic ventures then reluctantly yet optimistically continued the journey to Ukrainian Village for a long-awaited reunion with Justin H. (aka "Nordic Thunder"), Chelsie J. (aka "Cannonballmavin") and other members of the US Air Guitar family from all over America.  Though my luck and performance that week fell short of obtaining the 2011 USAG Championship title, ultimately I came away with an immeasurable wealth of love and respect for everyone who made this Baltimoron feel right at home in the Windy City.

Air on a G.T.M. String

On a lonely night called Friday
without a real guitar.
Listenin' on the headphones
to a one-minute-edit song.
You can tighten up the strumming
or the moves devised the night before.

But our heads will soon be banging
the way they always do;
when you hear that blist'ring solo
there's nothing else to do.
And you just feel like stage divin'
while your friends are there to catch you.

Here I am - power chord again.
There I am - up on the stage.
Here we go - playin' air guitar again.
There we go - to melt your face.

As you rock out just the way you want
to Hendrix or to Rhoads,
you can feel all eyes upon you
as you're wailing out the notes.
You extend the mighty metal horns
and the crowd wants to explode.

And most times we can't hear 'em mock,
other times we can.
All the same old cliches:
"Learn for real and join a band."
And we always seem outnumbered
'cause they don't understand.
Understand?

Here I am - power chord again.
There I am - up on the stage.
Here we go - playin' air guitar again.
There we go - to melt your face.

Out there in the spotlight
we're living life today.
Kicking ass and taking names;
who cares what they say?
Sweat pours out our bodies
like the airness we display.

Later in the evening,
as I lie alone in bed
with the echoes of Jack Daniels
pounding on my head;
I sweep the last air guitar fret,
and remember why we shred.
Why we shred...

Here I am - power chord again.
There I am - up on the stage.
Here we go - playin' air guitar again.
There we go - to melt your face.