E Airness Unum: Rocky Rhoads

    Back in 2011, Chicago hosted the ninth US Air Guitar National Championships, then in this season bore witness to a plethora of worthy talents rising to stake their winning claims in the absence of a regular defender of the Windy City crown. Needless to say, many promising gusts and gales made their fortunate way to the Bluebird Theater in Denver.

    All-around fun girl and Chi-town air guitar scene staple Rocky Rhoads (nee Gina C.) stormed into the Nationals at Bluebird on July 24th, fresh from being awarded the Dark Horse Invitational winner just two nights prior at Bender's Tavern. This whirling dervish of rock energy masqueraded in the guise of a bubbly demeanor yet packed enough punch to floor the crowd and impress the hell out of fellow practitioners.

Exhibit A:

    More scandalous footage from the previous day was then found, which depicted the final moments of an NYC air guitarist named MathRomancer before he was traded for three cases of beer as Rhoads was gleefully sandwiched between Peter Stiff Dickens, Mean Melin and Captain Airhab. Eventually it was resolved as a misunderstanding and quickly forgotten while it rained CorpAIRation bucks in the party bus.

Exhibit B:

    Loaded with charm, cheer and chops, this manic pixie of airness warrants more than a passing notice. If Rocky Rhoads is spotted anywhere, please contact someone immediately by dialing (347) 450-SETH.

So call me maybe.

\m/


"...I'm hell bent on fucking shit up onstage and living the rock and roll dream..."
- Rocky Rhoads, Air Guitar Heroes: About Playing Air Guitar