E Airness Unum: 2013 USAG Mid-Atlantic Semifinals (Part 1)

    For the halftime entertainment on July 19th at the 9:30 Club, Washington, D.C., air guitar legend The Shred performs Rush's 2112 which was then followed by 2012 Air Guitar World Champion Nordic Thunder (Chicago, IL) tearing up the stage with a six-minute-sixty-six-second medley tribute to Jeff Hanneman and Slayer.

E Airness Unum: Radio City Music Holocaust

    Buoyed by a brief taste of on-stage rapture at the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C. several days ago, G. Tso Money returned to the Empire State for a no-holds-barred throwdown with US Air Guitar heavyweights Windhammer (Rob W.), Airistotle (Matt B.), Ricky Stinkfingers (Alex F.), Shreddy Mercury (Seth L.), Dean Razorback (Tom S.), Lady Air-a-Bella of the Brooklyn Bellas (Sara A.C.) along with Mitt Umlaut (Tom C.), MathRomancer (Paul M.), DagNasty-O (John D.) and Mystery Meat (Brady M.).

    For two consecutive nights in June of 2011, Gotham saw fit to host a multitude of rare talents in search of worthy contenders to the mantle of the USAG National Champion; Airistotle claimed a resounding and well-earned victory at the Bowery Ballroom in Manhattan on the 15th, and the field was once again wide open for the remaining hopefuls the following evening in Brooklyn. Due to the temporary hiatus of former US champion William Ocean (Andrew J.L.) and the unfortunate return of celebrity judge Jason Jones from Comedy Central's The Daily Show, unpredictable results were guaranteed at the Brooklyn Bowl.

    Combined with a solid showing in Round One and consistently low scores from the aforementioned Mr. Jones (one of his comments was "too Asian" of a performance by G. Tso Money), striking distance was maintained while ranked behind Mitt Umlaut and Shreddy Mercury. Round Two's song of choice was "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister (Tyrannosaurus Rocks/Masturbating Booger's first round track in D.C. the year earlier) and thus the video below bore evidence of how the audience responded to G. Tso Money.

    After the song ended, Jones was first to exclaim in disbelief at the sight he had just witnessed and upped his prior score of 5.5 to a solid 5.9 which the other judges mirrored with their own near-perfect marks. Sadly, it was was not enough to overcome a fearlessly stunning act by Mitt (who ran onto the bowling lanes and shredded mightily to everyone's delight) and Shreddy's impressive point lead. The Brooklyn crown and automatic berth in Chicago's National Finals ultimately went to Seth, who represented admirably amongst other Regional champs this past July.

    The 2011 season for G. Tso Money would officially draw to a close on the 18th in Philadelphia, but this whole experience was infinitely valuable in becoming more familiar with the ever-elusive quality known as "airness" that so many others had demonstrated on stage. In fact, one of the most enduring memories was gaining the respect of fellow air guitar practitioners in finally being recognized as an equal by generous pillars of the community. This mutual love for music and the exhilaration of rocking out underneath the spotlights had brought us all closer together and further cemented our bonds as family - the 2012 US Air Guitar season will be yet another enjoyable reunion and opportunity to share the individual journeys that all have participated in on the quest for world peace through air guitar.

    "No Strings to Rule them All. No Strings to Excite Them. No Strings to Bring Them All and in the Airness Unite Them."
- The Thrash Prince of Hell Air, G. Tso Money

E Airness Unum: Epigone with the Wind

    Finally appearing in the second round of the US Air Guitar Championships after numerous attempts since 2009, the air guitarist known as G. Tso Money now stood among veterans such as The Shred (Lance K.), Tommy Fretless (Adam L.), MathRomancer (Paul M.) and Mitt Umlaut (Tom C.) as a legitimate contender to win the 2011 USAG Washington, D.C. Regional title.  Faced with the daunting task of rising above the assembled elite in addition to stiff competition from Doug the Thunderstruck (Doug S.), Shreddy Boop (Athena K.) and Airmageddon (Michael S.), a slight edge of being tied for the second seed with D. Thunderstruck behind Tommy's outstanding display of Round One airness instilled enough confidence that this battle for the crown was far from over.

Twitter update from @usairguitar on 6-11-11

Twitter update from @usairguitar on 6-11-11

     One by one as ranked earlier, each air guitarist in the compulsory round performed with wild abandon, frantic energy and animal magnetism whilst the crowd and judges responded in kind.  Following a near-perfect feat of face-melting lunacy by Doug (the rookie prodigy of Juris Rocktor, aka Mike S.) that elicited overwhelming roars of approval from all at the 9:30 Club, the moment arrived for G. Tso Money to win the audience back.

Twitter update from @usairguitar on 6-11-11

Twitter update from @usairguitar on 6-11-11

   Sixty seconds later, a thousand cheers fell on adrenaline-deafened ears and only by revisiting the video did it become apparent that perhaps a worthy successor to the mantle of "Asian Fury" (aptly describing past US Air Guitar champions C-Diddy, Sonyk Rok and Rockness Monster) had arrived.  However, Tommy Fretless once again shone brightest of all and earned his spot at the National Finals in Chicago to rightfully represent the Mid-Atlantic air guitar spirit.

Twitter update from @usairguitar on 6-11-11

    Battered but not broken, G. Tso Money (Yeah Right's recap) was just getting started as the season rolled on further north to NYC...

E Airness Unum

    The Thrash Prince of Hell Air, G. Tso Money, debuted on the US Air Guitar circuit two years ago and has since gained much more recognition within the community - from raucous jeers to thunderous cheers, this aspiring air guitarist has heard them all and will not stop until earning a chance to represent America on the main stage at Oulu, Finland for the Annual Air Guitar World Championships.

    Trials by fire in 2009 and 2010 proved that after bottoming out, the only other way was up; enthusiastic yet lackluster and forgettable performances as a budding rookie, coupled with brutally honest reactions from judging panels and discerning audiences, nearly derailed the quest for spreading a personal message of world peace by air guitar (one cannot bear arms when playing invisible strings).  Upon the realization that no less than a 200% effort would suffice in attaining this goal, meticulous planning and research was then invested in preparation for the 2011 campaign.

    After witnessing the US Air Guitar Nationals at Irving Plaza in New York City last summer, the next ten months involved music selection, stage choreography, costume design and attitude readjustment.  In addition to repeated viewings of "Air Guitar Nation" (the 2006 documentary film chronicling both C-Diddy and Björn Türoque's emergence as world air guitar superstars), a thorough understanding of the art form's philosophy was made possible by establishing more personal connections with fellow practitioners from all over the world.  Some have said that it's best not to meet one's heroes, but even those who excel under the spotlights are real people with real lives that anyone can relate to on one level or another.  Most notably, the friendships with Cold Steel Renegade (San Francisco, CA) and Brock McRock (Houston, TX) was invaluable in making a total commitment to upholding the true spirit of air guitar: for the love of music, for those who love music and for the individual freedom that no one can ever take away.

    In returning to the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C., on June 11th, all bets were off when a third performing slot was drawn for the Round One elimination.  At a disadvantage once again by going early, there was only way to see if the training would pay off:

 

Twitter update from @usairguitar on 6-11-11

    With such validation and regardless of the outcome, it finally became certain that everything up to this point had been a step in the right direction...