E Airness Unum: 2013 USAG Mid-Atlantic Semifinals (Part 1)

    For the halftime entertainment on July 19th at the 9:30 Club, Washington, D.C., air guitar legend The Shred performs Rush's 2112 which was then followed by 2012 Air Guitar World Champion Nordic Thunder (Chicago, IL) tearing up the stage with a six-minute-sixty-six-second medley tribute to Jeff Hanneman and Slayer.

E Airness Unum: Free Money

In appreciation of all the supporters throughout these years, G. Tso Money is giving away T-shirts! Each black or gray shirt is hand-stenciled and features the logo (see this blog's background graphic) on the front. To have one of your own, send a message with your name, shipping address and shirt size (Small through XL currently available).

While supplies last, Money back guarantee. (click to enlarge)

Thanks again to everybody and keep those horns up!


Peace, love, air guitar~

G. Tso Money

E Airness Unum: Cold Steel Renegade

    From humble beginnings of the US Air Guitar tournament ten years ago, this musical and performance arts event has steadily gained cult status as a grassroots form of achieving world peace via harmonious relationships through common interests. This mutual agreement that taking the stage with an invisible instrument to demonstrate how firearms have no place in rock 'n roll is the binding force that continues to attract and unite Americans unwilling to let dignity stand in the way of global cohesion.

    In recent years, few others have consistently represented the colorful and free-spirited city of San Francisco quite like Cold Steel Renegade (aka Matt F.); instantly recognizable by his flowing locks, mutton chops, astroturf armbands and suggestive spandex, this Adonis of airness narrowly missed making history with a fourth consecutive regional title of the Gold Mountain yet was a memorable highlight of elephantine proportions at the 2012 USAG National Championships halftime show in Denver, Colorado.

 

2009 SF regional sponsored by Boone's Farm.

    Equally as impressive as his gift for rhythmic footwork is a compassionate nature most befitting for one who spends much time helping socially disadvantaged people in the Bay Area. CSR's rich experiences of readjusting less-capable citizens meshes well with the air guitar philosophy that patience, dedication and goodwill are key elements to building a better society, so it should come as no surprise that he was formally inducted into the USAG Hall of Fame this year.

    Final note: COLD STEEL RENEGADE SAYS, "RECYCLE."

E Airness Unum: Air Guitar Heroes

    The Air Guitar World Championships is a celebration of music enjoyment, mutual understanding and world peace. Thousands of people from all over the planet gather each summer in the town of Oulu, Finland for this event that bridges language barriers, religious beliefs and political leanings to find out which international representative best embodies the philosophy that by holding an air guitar one cannot commit atrocities with a firearm. Though superficially confusing and at times downright inane, none who participate in this annual quest for global harmony can deny its earnest desire to bring about the best in others through rhythmic and physical expressions.

    One such competitor, Germany's own Geeky Gisbert (aka J. Fischer), conceived the notion that not only could air guitarists convey their individual messages on stage but also via stories collected then printed for all audiences to peruse at leisure. With the United States of America's fourth world champion in ten years, Nordic Thunder of Chicago, as one of his main liaisons, Gilbert was able to compile and edit an impressive number of backgrounds on air guitarists the world over for this first edition of "Air Guitar Heroes - Vom Spielen der Luftgitarre (About Playing Air Guitar)" published by blumenkamp in August of 2012.

© blumenkamp verlag, 2012

© blumenkamp verlag, 2012

   Comprised mostly of entrants from Western countries such as Great Britain, the United States, Germany and France, this fascinating look into the diversely personal histories of Earth's most outstanding air guitarists offers a tantalizing glimpse into defining moments of their lives sixty seconds at a time. One notable trait that all these writers shared was a love and respect of live music performances with a clear goal of conflict-free unification.

    Despite being surrounded by anonymous detractors who unceasingly decry this pursuit as nothing more than vapid and masturbatory adolescent antics, the invisible bonds among air guitarists which come about from determination, dedication and discipline are undeniably real.

    The experiences that one can treasure for a lifetime are best measured by doing what one truly believes is the right thing to do then finding out that it was the correct course of action after all.


    Peace and love to everyone~

E Airness Unum: Rocky Rhoads

    Back in 2011, Chicago hosted the ninth US Air Guitar National Championships, then in this season bore witness to a plethora of worthy talents rising to stake their winning claims in the absence of a regular defender of the Windy City crown. Needless to say, many promising gusts and gales made their fortunate way to the Bluebird Theater in Denver.

    All-around fun girl and Chi-town air guitar scene staple Rocky Rhoads (nee Gina C.) stormed into the Nationals at Bluebird on July 24th, fresh from being awarded the Dark Horse Invitational winner just two nights prior at Bender's Tavern. This whirling dervish of rock energy masqueraded in the guise of a bubbly demeanor yet packed enough punch to floor the crowd and impress the hell out of fellow practitioners.

Exhibit A:

    More scandalous footage from the previous day was then found, which depicted the final moments of an NYC air guitarist named MathRomancer before he was traded for three cases of beer as Rhoads was gleefully sandwiched between Peter Stiff Dickens, Mean Melin and Captain Airhab. Eventually it was resolved as a misunderstanding and quickly forgotten while it rained CorpAIRation bucks in the party bus.

Exhibit B:

    Loaded with charm, cheer and chops, this manic pixie of airness warrants more than a passing notice. If Rocky Rhoads is spotted anywhere, please contact someone immediately by dialing (347) 450-SETH.

So call me maybe.

\m/


"...I'm hell bent on fucking shit up onstage and living the rock and roll dream..."
- Rocky Rhoads, Air Guitar Heroes: About Playing Air Guitar

E Airness Unum: Flying Finn

    The tenth annual US Air Guitar tournament has culminated with a new National Champion and the former title holder going on to bring a fourth Air Guitar World Championship crown back to America. Only Finland boasts more wins with five total since 1996.

****ROCK****

    Appearing with a bevy of 2012 USAG finalists at the Bluebird Theater in Denver this past July was none other than Flying Finn (nee Andrew), who last season had nearly won representation for the city of Chicago but this year earned special bragging rights in Minnesota as its prodigal son of air guitar. Being the hometown hero intensified an already building cloud of airness but those mighty Finns bore it as a badge of rock 'n roll; the struts, windmills and kicks delivered many artistic flourishes properly balanced by a honed edge in this rousing display:

    In addition to spending time to raise an awesome family, Finn puts his other technical skills into creating digital tributes of various members from the air guitar community.

Behold...

    While Finn cuts an imposing figure in real life and much more so on stage, this man is well-versed in embracing this curious fellowship amongst air guitarists and fostering a greater kinship with anyone who shares the same sense of humor.

Awoooooo~


"To err is human, but to air guitar...divine."

- Bjorn Turoque

Appetite for Creation Part 12: Frames Bond

    Philadelphia hosted one stop of the 2012 US Air Guitar Tournament.

06-20-12: Fishtown sculpture in Philly, PA (click to enlarge)

06-20-12: Fishtown sculpture in Philly, PA (click to enlarge)

06-20-12: Fishtown sculpture in Philly, PA (click to enlarge)

06-20-12: Fishtown sculpture in Philly, PA (click to enlarge)

06-20-12: Fishtown sculpture in Philly, PA (click to enlarge)

    Local favorites Windhammer and President Baberham Lincoln made everyone proud as representatives in Denver at the USAG Nationals.

Peace, love, air guitar~


    Note: The above images are taken directly from a Samsung SCH-u540 camera/phone with no post-capture manipulation.

E Airness Unum: Shred Dawn

    Coming soon to the Bluebird Theater in Denver, Colorado - featuring regional champions Danny Tanner Tantrum (Boston), Flying Finn (Minneapolis), The White Flame (Chicago), Um (Seattle) and Tommy Fretless (Washington, D.C.) among an ensemble cast of over a dozen of the most talented airists in the United States! One night show only on July 21st, 2012, so get your tickets *NOW* at the US Air Guitar website!!!

Co-starring five of the top air guitarists in the USA!

E Airness Unum: Hot Lixx Hulahan

    On this Friday, June 15th, Portland will kick off the 2012 US Air Guitar tournament and proudly commemorate the unprecedented achievement of claiming three world championships since 2003. The most recent such victor is none other than Hot Lixx Hulahan himself (aka C. Billmeier), who decimated the global competition in 2008 to follow legends like C-Diddy and Sonyk-Rok into the whispered realms of air guitar history. Take a gander at his title-clinching performance in the video below:

    There is no question that the above-mentioned display of a pure love for rock music perfectly embodies the quintessential spirit of freedom. Liberty is what countless others  have fought over, died for and won decisively to preserve; Hot Lixx's choice of "Plane Crash" by the Toadies in Round One is chosen brilliantly chosen for its brash sound, enduring spirit and upbeat attitude after a prolonged period of musical stagnation in self-pity and hollow commercialism. At once memorable, catchy and inspiring, Hot Lixx Hulahan's antics proved through two successive rounds that America knew exactly what rock and roll really meant.

    Some role models don't come better than this.

E Airness Unum: Airosol

    Just scant few weeks remain until the 2012 US Air Guitar tournament kicks off across the nation in its search for an ambassador to carry a message of peace to the World Championships in Oulu, Finland. Having birthed three of Earth's mightiest air guitar heroes since 2003, America is clearly primed and ready to bring home a fourth world title.

    While one can easily make the assumption that air guitar is exclusively a boys' club, there would be some sistAIRs who take exception to that - Airosol (nee Cami P.) from the Land of 10,000 Lakes has proved that a healthy mix of brio, beauty and brilliance is more than enough to warrant a place among other air guitar legends. With a trademark leg-flip that has yet to replicated or even attempted in competition, this diminutive firebrand from Minnesota always leaves the fans clamoring for more.

    A veteran gymnastics instructor and first-time mother (the video above was taken mere months after receiving her bundle of joy), this winner of four regional championships has since pirouetted gracefully into the halls of royalty as Emeritus Queen of the USAG Northwest Territories. The legacy of Airosol is a testament to the equality and respect that is shared among all air guitarists.

E Airness Unum: Lieutenant Facemelter

    Another season marking this glorious decade of US Air Guitar begins next month and undoubtedly its venerable cast of characters has been instrumental to maintaining such rousing success.

    California is one of the hotbeds from which various strong contenders to the National Crown continue to emerge; Lieutenant Facemelter (nee Jason F.) has waged an impressive campaign for this honor and proved himself a force to be reckoned by becoming a two-time Regional Champion (San Diego in 2010 and Seattle in 2011). This madman of the West Coast pulls no punches and leaves no floaters on his way to capturing the hearts and minds of fellow air guitarists who long for a chance to earn their spot this year at the National Finals in Denver.

    One of the demented brainchildren behind a hilarious line of USAG trading cards, Lt. Facemelter is a powerhouse of brains and spirit as evidenced by his technical institute credentials and "user experience design" work in the medical industry. He and the missus also have a corgi named Koopa (geek alert!).


Update: Last month at the House of Blues in Los Angeles, Lt. Facemelter was crowned the 2013 US Air Guitar National Champion and also placed fifth at the Air Guitar World Championships.


         "We few, we happy few, we band of brothAIRs and sistAIRs. For they today who shred their chords with me shall be my brothAIR or sistAIR; be never so vile."

                         - G. Tso Money

E Airness Unum: Mean Melin

    As the 2012 US Air Guitar season draws ever nearer, these past ten years has seen its share of memorable figures grace the stage with unique performances and undeniable talent.

    Arguably the anchor of the Midwest scene is Mean Melin (nee Eric M.) from Kansas - not only is he an actual musician in the band The Dead Girls, his enthusiasm, energy and skills have been in the USAG National Finals spotlight multiple years consecutively. Needless to say, Melin is just one of many in the US Air Guitar family who have inspired and encouraged others to continue striving for world peace sixty seconds at a time.

    Along with his own real band, Melin works tirelessly to promote air guitar as a worthy past time in addition to other entertainment outlets. Rounding out this man's diverse background is the role of movie reviewer at Scene Stealers (www.scene-stealers.com).


        "No Strings to rule them all,
         No Strings to excite them,
         No Strings to bring them all
         and in the Airness unite them."

                                   - GTM


Update:  Mean Melin entered the 2013 Air Guitar World Championships in Finland as a Dark Horse competitor and overcame impressive odds to capture first place ahead of compatriots The Thunder (second), Nordic Thunder (fourth) and Lt. Facemelter (fifth).

E Airness Unum: Radio City Music Holocaust

    Buoyed by a brief taste of on-stage rapture at the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C. several days ago, G. Tso Money returned to the Empire State for a no-holds-barred throwdown with US Air Guitar heavyweights Windhammer (Rob W.), Airistotle (Matt B.), Ricky Stinkfingers (Alex F.), Shreddy Mercury (Seth L.), Dean Razorback (Tom S.), Lady Air-a-Bella of the Brooklyn Bellas (Sara A.C.) along with Mitt Umlaut (Tom C.), MathRomancer (Paul M.), DagNasty-O (John D.) and Mystery Meat (Brady M.).

    For two consecutive nights in June of 2011, Gotham saw fit to host a multitude of rare talents in search of worthy contenders to the mantle of the USAG National Champion; Airistotle claimed a resounding and well-earned victory at the Bowery Ballroom in Manhattan on the 15th, and the field was once again wide open for the remaining hopefuls the following evening in Brooklyn. Due to the temporary hiatus of former US champion William Ocean (Andrew J.L.) and the unfortunate return of celebrity judge Jason Jones from Comedy Central's The Daily Show, unpredictable results were guaranteed at the Brooklyn Bowl.

    Combined with a solid showing in Round One and consistently low scores from the aforementioned Mr. Jones (one of his comments was "too Asian" of a performance by G. Tso Money), striking distance was maintained while ranked behind Mitt Umlaut and Shreddy Mercury. Round Two's song of choice was "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister (Tyrannosaurus Rocks/Masturbating Booger's first round track in D.C. the year earlier) and thus the video below bore evidence of how the audience responded to G. Tso Money.

    After the song ended, Jones was first to exclaim in disbelief at the sight he had just witnessed and upped his prior score of 5.5 to a solid 5.9 which the other judges mirrored with their own near-perfect marks. Sadly, it was was not enough to overcome a fearlessly stunning act by Mitt (who ran onto the bowling lanes and shredded mightily to everyone's delight) and Shreddy's impressive point lead. The Brooklyn crown and automatic berth in Chicago's National Finals ultimately went to Seth, who represented admirably amongst other Regional champs this past July.

    The 2011 season for G. Tso Money would officially draw to a close on the 18th in Philadelphia, but this whole experience was infinitely valuable in becoming more familiar with the ever-elusive quality known as "airness" that so many others had demonstrated on stage. In fact, one of the most enduring memories was gaining the respect of fellow air guitar practitioners in finally being recognized as an equal by generous pillars of the community. This mutual love for music and the exhilaration of rocking out underneath the spotlights had brought us all closer together and further cemented our bonds as family - the 2012 US Air Guitar season will be yet another enjoyable reunion and opportunity to share the individual journeys that all have participated in on the quest for world peace through air guitar.

    "No Strings to Rule them All. No Strings to Excite Them. No Strings to Bring Them All and in the Airness Unite Them."
- The Thrash Prince of Hell Air, G. Tso Money

E Airness Unum: A Bridge Too Far East

    Spent two weeks in Taiwan with a brief side trip to Japan and came back with this...

    There wasn't nearly enough time to enjoy everything there, so another visit will definitely be in the cards.

E Airness Unum

    The Thrash Prince of Hell Air, G. Tso Money, debuted on the US Air Guitar circuit two years ago and has since gained much more recognition within the community - from raucous jeers to thunderous cheers, this aspiring air guitarist has heard them all and will not stop until earning a chance to represent America on the main stage at Oulu, Finland for the Annual Air Guitar World Championships.

    Trials by fire in 2009 and 2010 proved that after bottoming out, the only other way was up; enthusiastic yet lackluster and forgettable performances as a budding rookie, coupled with brutally honest reactions from judging panels and discerning audiences, nearly derailed the quest for spreading a personal message of world peace by air guitar (one cannot bear arms when playing invisible strings).  Upon the realization that no less than a 200% effort would suffice in attaining this goal, meticulous planning and research was then invested in preparation for the 2011 campaign.

    After witnessing the US Air Guitar Nationals at Irving Plaza in New York City last summer, the next ten months involved music selection, stage choreography, costume design and attitude readjustment.  In addition to repeated viewings of "Air Guitar Nation" (the 2006 documentary film chronicling both C-Diddy and Björn Türoque's emergence as world air guitar superstars), a thorough understanding of the art form's philosophy was made possible by establishing more personal connections with fellow practitioners from all over the world.  Some have said that it's best not to meet one's heroes, but even those who excel under the spotlights are real people with real lives that anyone can relate to on one level or another.  Most notably, the friendships with Cold Steel Renegade (San Francisco, CA) and Brock McRock (Houston, TX) was invaluable in making a total commitment to upholding the true spirit of air guitar: for the love of music, for those who love music and for the individual freedom that no one can ever take away.

    In returning to the 9:30 Club in Washington, D.C., on June 11th, all bets were off when a third performing slot was drawn for the Round One elimination.  At a disadvantage once again by going early, there was only way to see if the training would pay off:

 

Twitter update from @usairguitar on 6-11-11

    With such validation and regardless of the outcome, it finally became certain that everything up to this point had been a step in the right direction...

Sprout of My Mind

    In a previous post I had mentioned wanting to see "Cloud Gate" (aka "the Bean") in Chicago during the 2011 US Air Guitar Nationals week - this being my first extended visit to Illinois, much revelry was to be had with many friends over the next few days and thus Millennium Park was a truly rewarding source of inspiration from and admiration for the Windy City.

    Navigation of the Chicago Transit Authority train system proved convenient due to a familiarity with the complexities of New York City, and the Orange line from Midway Airport delivered me straight to Madison-Wabash Station which was a mere block from my destination.  Despite a sluggish July heat pervading the Midwest, I eagerly followed the shadows at a decent stride with luggage in tow towards the lake.  Emerging from the concrete canyon of West Madison Street into its intersection with North Michigan Avenue afforded a brief glint of the mid-afternoon sun sparkling off the metal monstrosity created by Indian-born British artist Anish Kapoor.  Though Jaume Plensa's monolithic "Crown Fountain" video sculpture flirted with my attention at the park entrance, the increasing allure of justifying this trip to AT&T Plaza as well as the siren call of over-priced hot dogs drew me upstairs instead.  Peering through the stone railings on the south side of the plaza while ascending the stone steps, faint wisps of excited chatter floated past me until "the Bean" finally hove into full view.  After settling down on the east side of the square at a sparsely-shaded table, I rolled a cigarette and took these notes.

    7/20/11    3:30 pm

The size is impressive - a full height taller than most visitors standing within the concave underside.  Surrounding skyscrapers arch gleefully towards the apex (standing 33 feet above ground).  Multiple perspectives are visible from even a single viewing location.  The polished and curved metal surface seamlessly reflects every object in a complete panorama.  Despite its manufactured existence, the very identity and nature of the sculpture is organic.  A blend of artificial and natural environments is accurately echoed by this high-concept, grand-scaled and truly unique work of art.  The simplistic appearance is enjoyable for people from all walks and any stage of life, though a lasting appreciation is attainable by attempting to answer the many questions it raises of our own beings.  Much like the seed of a fruit-bearing plant, this represents the potential of many new discoveries for humankind.

    To further cement its distinctive impression, I walked around the 66-feet-long structure in a spiral circuit until reaching the comfortably shaded arch where many others had already taken refuge from the heat.  In addition to the whimsically distorted images of others present,  particular interest was paid to the multitude of hand prints and smudges left behind on the steel.  Unlike the myriad of graffiti and stickers that pervade NYC structures, these marks were clearly meant to convey ephemeral messages by each individual who also came to enjoy what has become a world-class landmark in Chicago.

    After this immersion in contemporary visual culture, I felt an invigorated sense of purpose in my own artistic ventures then reluctantly yet optimistically continued the journey to Ukrainian Village for a long-awaited reunion with Justin H. (aka "Nordic Thunder"), Chelsie J. (aka "Cannonballmavin") and other members of the US Air Guitar family from all over America.  Though my luck and performance that week fell short of obtaining the 2011 USAG Championship title, ultimately I came away with an immeasurable wealth of love and respect for everyone who made this Baltimoron feel right at home in the Windy City.

The Magical Fruit of the Loon?

    With a highly-anticipated trip to Chicago commencing in mere days, the question arose of what else to do in town other than attend the 2011 US Air Guitar Dark Horse Invitational (location TBA) and National Finals at Metro.

    Having lived in New York City for several years now, I was hesitant of adopting the predictable tourist character and planned to seek out more underground cultures to absorb with the help of local friends.  My persistence at remaining fringe and alternative, owed to a passion for rocking an invisible instrument in front of large crowds, was recently put into doubt by an off-hand suggestion from fellow competitor and brothAIR-in-unloaded-arms, Brock McRock (aka Taylor F.) of Houston, Texas.

    Some months ago, Cloud Gate in Millennium Park was not much more than a mildly interesting idea to me until further research yielded the details of the project by Indian-born British artist Anish Kapoor.  The images and information that were found online increased my enthusiasm to determine if this sculpture is worthy of its praise and similar to my own artistic values.

    The next post should provide a more in-depth look and critical reaction to "the Bean."


~ Peace, Love, Air

Air on a G.T.M. String

On a lonely night called Friday
without a real guitar.
Listenin' on the headphones
to a one-minute-edit song.
You can tighten up the strumming
or the moves devised the night before.

But our heads will soon be banging
the way they always do;
when you hear that blist'ring solo
there's nothing else to do.
And you just feel like stage divin'
while your friends are there to catch you.

Here I am - power chord again.
There I am - up on the stage.
Here we go - playin' air guitar again.
There we go - to melt your face.

As you rock out just the way you want
to Hendrix or to Rhoads,
you can feel all eyes upon you
as you're wailing out the notes.
You extend the mighty metal horns
and the crowd wants to explode.

And most times we can't hear 'em mock,
other times we can.
All the same old cliches:
"Learn for real and join a band."
And we always seem outnumbered
'cause they don't understand.
Understand?

Here I am - power chord again.
There I am - up on the stage.
Here we go - playin' air guitar again.
There we go - to melt your face.

Out there in the spotlight
we're living life today.
Kicking ass and taking names;
who cares what they say?
Sweat pours out our bodies
like the airness we display.

Later in the evening,
as I lie alone in bed
with the echoes of Jack Daniels
pounding on my head;
I sweep the last air guitar fret,
and remember why we shred.
Why we shred...

Here I am - power chord again.
There I am - up on the stage.
Here we go - playin' air guitar again.
There we go - to melt your face.

When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Vodka Martinis for Your Friends

    Last July when Cold Steel Renegade (the San Francisco air guitar champion also known as M. Feldstein) was in town for the USAG Nationals, we took a trip down to the Museum of Jewish Heritage and one area of the exhibit really stood out to me: a display case containing intricate gifts that camp prisoners had fashioned from scavenged materials to give one another.  I was impressed by the ingenuity and craftsmanship and quite humbled by the thought that the human spirit could endure under such dire circumstances.

     While it may be a cliche that the process is just as important as the outcome, for an individual to express their creativity with so few resources then have the products of their labor preserved for future generations to understand on their own is, in my opinion, the mark of a true artist.  Each and every clueless politician who wants to cut funding to the arts should read the message that a tiny copper-wire tea set in its context conveys; periodic works of art in many forms have long been profound symbols and vital records of human civilization that should not only be remembered but also continued to be made, no matter the cost.

    Lechaim!